Fight Song by Rachel Platten came blaring through my radio speakers as I was driving the other day. I was intrigued by the lyrics. She sings … “this is my fight song, take back my life song, and prove I’m alright song …”
I was wishing this song was around from 1996 – 2006 when my heart had been shattered too many times to count. I could just imagine playing this song on repeat as loud as possible in my little red Wrangler and trying desperately to convince myself that I would take back my life and I would definitely be alright.
Maybe it’s the cheerleader in me but I like the idea of a fight song … so I turned up the radio and started to think about the audio in my brain that plays on repeat these days. Fear finds its way into my thoughts sometimes …. To that I sang … I will take back my life! Fear in the form of Hypoplastic Left Heart does not get to rob anymore time from me. And together with the Lord, we will most definitely be alright. Platten goes on to sing about having a lot of fight left. This line really resonated with me. I can attest to the fact that you don’t know how strong you are until strong is the only option … and I have to add that the strength comes from Christ. My own flesh is weak but with Christ, all things are possible.
I have come to realize that the fight in me runs much deeper than CHD. We live in a broken and hurting world … we must circle our wagons around those in need. We must teach our children empathy and most importantly, we must store our treasures in Heaven. Earth is so temporal and eternity so … well; not.
You can bet that I have a lot of fight left in me. A special fight for Noah, yes, but also a fight to tell the world of what Jesus has done so that others might know Him and be saved. Both missions are lifelong commitments. There is no cure for Congenital Heart Disease and I will never be done professing the hope that is found in Jesus … I was thinking about this when Platten sings about losing friends and chasing sleep. We have experienced both throughout our journey but from this … we have also experienced the depth of gratitude when a complete stranger– gives. And the Lord’s mercies that are new every morning are even more vibrant and beautiful when you have had so little sleep.
This fight song moment came over me days before attending a celebration of life service for someone I had never met. That might not seem significant but it was. As I drove around listening to this song and thinking about our new normal, I pictured all the wagons that had come to circle our family … a tear escaped my eye as I pictured the wagons with familiar faces and those of complete strangers. One of the strangers was a 23 year old young man, the focal point of the service that I was attending. Though we had never met, I was certain that this person had once prayed for Noah. This man went home to be with Jesus recently and from a far distance I watched as the wagons began to surround his precious loved ones. Before I knew what had happened, I was sobbing in my car. The mom of this young man didn’t know my son when she showed up with a meal to feed my family months ago … but she circled around us along with the church. That I thought, is who I want to be. I attended Jonathon’s celebration of life service and I smiled as others spoke of his passion for life and I cried as I saw the hurt in those that miss him … Throughout the message it was clear that he too had a fight song; passion for life and passion for Jesus.
I left that service with a wonderful picture in my mind … I want our wagon to circle with the church and you can bet it will be blasting that Jesus fight song.